Sing Out

There have been very few years of my life when singing, particularly choral singing, was not a large part of my best-spent hours.  Like most young American children, I started singing in school, as part of basic elementary music education.  In fact, one of my earliest memories of school is a particular chorus rehearsal where, at age...six? I think?...I allowed my (constantly wandering) imagination to take control of my hands, and I began tenderly choreographing hand motions to accompany the music we were singing in class.  My teacher pulled me aside and asked me to show her what I was doing; she asked if we could please incorporate the hand movements I was inventing and teach them to the class.  Equal parts embarrassed (I was certain I was about to be reprimanded--again--for not following directions) and flattered, we did just that in the following rehearsal.  It was the beginning of what would become a lifelong love for performing theatre and song. 

As soon as I was old enough to be allowed to sing in my church choir, I joined.  I partook in every school musical I could squeeze into my schedule, and I sang in every chorus and choir my schools offered, going so far as to spend two high school seasons performing with the Connecticut Allstate chorus. 

Senior Year with the H.S. school Chamber Choir

Performing the National Anthem at graduation with my classmate

To say that singing was the single most important part of my primary education is not an understatement.  Yes, I am obviously grateful for my ability to read, write, perform simple mathematical functions, and all the other vital skills school teaches, but I am in the minority among career schoolteachers in that I did not love going to school each day as a child.  I was a weak student, easily distracted, frequently frustrated, and convinced that I was too dumb to even belong there (not a lot changed over 40 years on that front).  There was, however, one thing I excelled at.  There was one thing I loved to participate in, and I was beyond thrilled to attend class for, and that was singing.  If there hadn't been singing in school, I don't know how I would have survived.

Maybe you sing a little.  Maybe you've been in a choir.  Maybe you know what it feels like when you and dozens of other singers hold a note so beautiful, you can barely stand to keep singing it but daren't ever stop (until the conductor cuts you off).  Maybe you've felt the phenomenon of your many hearts literally synching beats as you perform together as one.  Maybe you know how blissfully happy it makes you feel, or how you learn to breathe a little better, stand a little taller, feel a little stronger after a few hours of communal warbling.

There is science behind all these feelings.  The studies are in.  Singing, especially choral singing, is GOOD for you. 

Except right now.  Right now, singing is dangerous.  Well, singing in your shower is fine.  Singing in your car is great.  But choral singing?  Large groups of people spraying their oral aerosols at high volume at large groups of people listening?  These are, according to our best information so far, too dangerous to engage in until further notice (probably until a vaccine).  

Until this past spring, part of my work as a schoolteacher included leading the upper school chorus at the small school where I was employed.  It was my favorite part of the week, meeting with my group of singers.  Much like my experience as a student, I lived for those few hours when I would hear their voices blend in harmony.  Heart pounding, arms waving, I and my students would drill, drill, drill our pieces into perfection and then perform them for eager families who had barely an inkling of what their children's potential for musical greatness was until they heard their voices lifted together in song.

Conducting students singing the National Anthem at Citifield--a literal dream come true

And then came Covid-19/Coronavirus/SARS-COV 2--whatever you want to call it.  The virus came.  The school where I was teaching, like everything else, was shut down.  We moved to 'remote learning' (online classes). 

From March to June, we sang through screens at home, like everyone else, and we did one of those virtual choir things (which sounded fantastic), like everyone else, and it was better than not singing at all.

And then I was given the news that I knew was coming.

I will not be teaching school chorus in September.  There might be no musical plays.  There will be little singing in the school.  There will probably be little singing in any schools, not for a while.  Standing shoulder to shoulder and spraying our breath about for a crowded auditorium is simply too risky to engage in, and it's a hard pill to swallow.

I cried for a week.  I could barely listen to singing, much less practice it.  My voice fell silent while I mourned.

My earliest and happiest school memories are from singing.  If we can't sing in the schools, I don't know how anyone is supposed to muddle through the rest of the hours, because the hours spent singing in schools are the best hours of them all.  They are the hours that sustain the kids (and teachers) who, like me, are just marking time from day to day until the moments when we can breathe deep, stand tall, synch heartbeats, and sing together.  I can't bear to imagine going to a school where there is no singing.  I'm grateful I don't have to (I got a nice job at a nice grocery store where I sing quietly into my mask while stocking bananas).  A school with no singing is a place I'd rather not be.

But mourning must end.  Singing is good for us.  We mustn't stop singing.  So what are we to do? 

We can keep singing in the shower and in the car.  Never stop singing in the shower and in the car.  We can sing with our families.  And we can, in a way, still sing together.  Since March, a Maine organization has been hosting an ongoing 'quarantine karaoke' via their Facebook group.  And if you're really hungering for choral singing, while it is decidedly not the same thing, there are a growing number of virtual choirs anyone can join so that you can hear your voice blend with dozens of people you've never met before.  Now, as much as ever, is a time to adapt.  

You can sing along with me, if you like (see video).  Just keep singing, because singing is good for you.  It's good for me.  It's good for us.  As long as we maintain our distance to keep each other safe, we must keep singing. 

So, please, by all means, if you want to sing out, sing out.

(mobile users may have difficulty seeing the video embed, so here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6chG6DXWys)

*edit:  I have recently learned that I was given inaccurate information -- there *will* be a chorus at the school where I was previously employed.  I suppose circumstances changed between June and August, as they are wont to do.  I still stand by my writing, as it reflects my truth at the time I wrote it.  Best wishes to all music teachers as they navigate this year's process.