I’m not a runner.
I’ve never been a runner.
As a
kid, I was the one who got picked last for every game in gym class (not only am
I slow, but I’m the pits at throwing, catching, dribbling, kicking…basically
I’m not good at sportsball).
I was the
last one walking the final lap on the track during the mile run.
In high
school and college, I did a little jogging for fitness, but when my knees
started complaining (apparently, I’ve got a thing called ‘chrondomalacia of the
patella’, which is fancy talk for ‘irritable kneecaps’) I decided that running
was for chumps.
So I stuck with my bicycle.
I kept fit doing all the things that people who hate running do to keep
fit. And I was in better shape than your
average couch potato, so that was good enough for me.
And then there was the herniated disc flare-up. When I went to my chiropractor, his first
question was “did you run?” Me? Run? I
thought back to the days leading up to this unspeakable pain, and I did recall
how I was late for a rehearsal, so I ran a few blocks to make up time getting
to the theatre.
“It’s because you ran,” he told me. That’s what caused this pain. It’s because I ran. A few blocks of hustle to the theatre and now
I can’t walk or sit or stand or sleep.
Because I ran.
For years, I believed him.
After my surgery, both my GP and my surgeon urged me to get moving as
soon as possible, and to make fitness a priority in my life. They cautioned me against any heavy weight
lifting, at least for a while. I was
encouraged to do low-impact activities, like swimming and yoga.
So for a few years, I added new and fun ways to stay
fit.
I started with climbing (slow, fun,
natural traction).
I swam, rode my bike
(as long as you stay hunched over and loose, it’s pretty chill on the spine), tried aerial silks, and started hiking.
As I got stronger
and more confident, I added more adventurous activities, namely skiing and
surfing.
When I visited my surgeon years later for a consultation to
see if pregnancy would be dangerous to my back health (before we knew how
messed up my fertility situation was) he asked me what kind of activities I was
doing.
His eyes grew wide and he asked
“do you ever fall down while doing these adventure sports?”
“All the time.” I
replied. When he asked if it hurt to
fall, I said “only the normal amount.”
He shrugged and said to me: “Go
on. Do whatever you want. No limits.”
No limits.
Well, that’s intimidating.
We didn’t get pregnant anyway, so when a friend asked me if
I might want to join him in a sprint triathlon, I decided that my old
chiropractor was full of baloney and I was going to run, darn it.
I got myself a pair of $35 dollar running shoes and started
running, working my way up to a 5k.
Except that after a month, my knee started to hurt. I kept running (it’ll get better on its own!). The knee got worse. I kept running. The limping started to cause more problems—my
other knee started to hurt, and now my back was throbbing.
I withdrew from the race and sought medical attention.
The Physical Therapist I worked with did a
great job helping me recover—she mentioned that my quads were highly developed
from cycling, but the rest of my leg muscles were less so, creating an
imbalance which exacerbated my pre-existing knee issues, which then led to the
back pain.
I asked her point-blank “is my body just not made for
running? Is this a dream I need to give
up?” She sighed and said “you can—you
just need to address this muscle imbalance and be careful.”
“So, could I ever, say, run a marathon?”
“Well,” she said, “you would need to do a LOT of strength
training.”
I am aware of how polarizing and controversial CrossFit is—I
had read every horror story about injuries and rhabdo and the like, but I also
know that there are horror stories about pretty much every activity (including
and especially inactivity) and I decided I wanted to give it a try.
I was ready to lift big weights and get
strong so that I could maybe ever run one day.
I’m not going to launch into a massive love letter to
CF516,
but let’s just say that joining this gym is pretty much one of the greatest life decisions I’ve
ever made.
The cruel irony of the timing is that I joined right as the
gym was starting a sprint cycle. This is
to say, the whole gym was pretty much just running. No kettlebells, no weights, no bear
crawls—running.
Not only was I slow, I was terrified. Even though this is exactly the sport I was
determined to conquer, it was the one I was most afraid of, and I wasn’t
expecting to get right into it right away.
I dissolved into tears on the walk back from a ‘sprint,’ and
my coach pulled me aside. I told him about the herniated disc,
the surgery, the pain, the fear, and that one time a doctor told me that my
pain was “because you ran”.
He hugged me (sweatily) and said “thank you for telling me.” He then told me that he also has herniated
discs. This is a guy who ran a 100 mile
race last April.
I’ve only cried twice at CrossFit, and both times it was
because of the kindness I was shown by the coaches. Kindness always gets me in the feels.
Soon enough, we moved on to a new cycle, and I was swinging
kettlebells and picking up weights and putting them down.
Then one day, the workout on the board was “run a 5K”. There was a hand-drawn map on the board of a 5K loop around the neighborhood.
I was for sure the last person in the gym to finish, but I
ran every single step. That was my first
time ever running 3.1 miles nonstop, no walking. That’s when I knew I could run. I could really run now (albeit slowly).
So here I am (with my husband) at the ColorVibe 5K.
And here I am finishing the Panatella Sprint Triathlon 5K.
And here I am finishing the Tobay Sprint Triathlon 5K.
And here I am at the Cow Harbor 10K.
And here I am at the Queens Half Marathon.
See that big, dumb smile on my face?
It’s because I ran.
image sources:
http://jakelikesonions.com/post/166538472359/maybe-hes-running-from-the-truth
http://www.uopc.org/sports-medicine/chondromalacia-patellae/
http://crossfit516.com/